OTNA identity
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- Shem: i just downloaded roughly 300 cookbooks
- Monster: now print them out and eat them
- Shem: i might just have to
- Monster: I think you are pretty much going to have to after spending all that money on printer paper
- Shem: yeah really
- Monster: Not to mention it's delicious.
- Shem: i've tasted paper before, its not very tasty
- Monster: Thats because you were eating a shitty brand.
- Shem: maybe so
- Monster: If you've got some card stock you can make a soup
- Shem: i have construction paper too
another area of fuzzy thinking out there is the movement called intelligent design. it asserts that some things are too marvelous or too intricate to explain. the contention is that these things defy common scientific accounts for cause and effect, and so they’re ascribed to an intelligent, purposeful designer. …so let’s start a movement called stupid design, and we’ll see where that takes us. for example, what’s going on with your appendix? it’s much better at killing you than it is at anything else. that’s definitely a stupid design. what about your pinky toenail? you can barely put nail polish on it; there’s no real estate there. how about bad breath, or the fact that you breathe and drink through the same hole in your body, causing some fraction of us to choke to death every year? and here’s my last one. ready? down there between our legs, it’s like an entertainment complex in the middle of a sewage system. who designed that?
neil degrasse tyson (space chronicles: facing the ultimate frontier)
This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
more stickers to come
i’m working on getting the other animals ready for print. there are roughly 40 total.
there is a squid, wolf, giraffe, walrus, chipmunk, squirrel … just to name a few.
if there is anything you’d like to see then i’ll see what i can do about making it a reality.
a tiny fanfic: one day Odo said “gender is ridiculous. why do you solids have so many”
“gender is a social construct” explained Kira, her mind half on the conversation and half on her rebel friends who she still wondered if she was betraying by working for the government. “they can be an important part of an individual’s identity and also a tool used to oppress people”
“i’ve been like twenty genders” said Jadzia Dax as she rolled by on a skateboard. then she did a cool flip and started grinding around the railing of the promenade. “Ben calling me Old Man is actually an inside joke, the result of a hilarious mixup when the translator decided Curzon was probably a dude. Trill don’t have dudes. Trill don’t have ladies. Dudes and ladies are human concepts.”
“most of our pronouns come out of the universal translator as the closest equivalent in the cultural context of the person hearing or reading it,” Worf explained, watching Jadzia and secretly thinking the skateboard thing looked really fun. “there are almost as many genders and pronouns in the universe as there are stars.”
“can i still call Garak my gay lizard boyfriend” asked Julian, who just wanted to be a part of things.
“of course, my dear doctor,” said Garak, who had been hiding under an unoccupied table at the replimat, pretending he didn’t know that the others were only pretending they didn’t see him.
“we are at war” Benjamin Sisko reminded everybody. “or we will be soon, i don’t know, Jadzia’s still here and the prophets said something about… Nevermind. Odo, you can’t decide other people’s genders are ridiculous.”
“i just don’t want one” said Odo, who was very surprised by this point because conversations that started with the words the solids didn’t tend to actually get reactions out of people anymore.
Benjamin sighed. “you don’t have to have one. no one has to have one. everyone can have one, or more than one, or none. please go do your job”
“ok”
“doctor please get out from under that table where definitely no one else is hiding”
“ok”
So theres this really sweet girl who sits next to me in my history class and she helps me out with my work sometimes and stuff and shes really soft spoken and kind and today i walked into class and saw her working on this really intricate design in her notebook and i was all “oh what are you working on?” And looked over at it and iT WAS REALLY DETAILED CALIGRAPHY OF “SUCK MY DICK”
The False Promise of Back-to-School Commercials
From the comments:
If you asked scientists to design the worst possible system to educate masses of young people, they would come up with the system that much of the US has arrived at.
Drag them out...
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